- baby: d... d... d...
- father: ...dad? omg you are going to say dad as your first word!!!
- baby: d... dONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT
- baby: *guitar sounds from baby's mouth*
i dont even have guilty pleasures anymore i just like stuff and if people have a problem with that they can go fuck themselves
i dont understand giveaways
like who the fuck just has an extra macbook
I hope it fucks you up knowing I’m happier without you in my life
once i take my bra off, don’t ask me to do shit for u bitch bc once that bra comes off, i am clocked out of life. i am done. i am finished. i am logged the fuck out.
- Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
- Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.